Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Calm down everyone, the Tigers’ Magic Number is still only 14

Somewhere down in Florida, Dave is sitting on a barge reading the sports section, and his shorts just climbed a little higher after seeing the Tigers got blasted 11-1 last night. Easy, blonde boy. Everything’s gonna be fine.

To put Dave – and a few other Tiger fans – at ease, we at the Kage did a little math and were able to pin down precisely when the Tigers will clinch the American League Central Division pennant. Using an advanced probabilities formula (so advanced it takes into consideration factors such as the aerodynamic benefits to Magglio Ordonez since he had nine pounds of hair lopped from the back of his head) we were able to conclude that the Tigers will not repeat the collapse of 2006.

So chill out. Aside from not knowing who two of their five starters are, the Tigers are poised to finish this thing off. Luckily for them, Twins fans still don’t know three of their starting five, and they’ve been pitching for them since July!

Detroit-area fans will be pleased to know that the Tigers will clinch the pennant at home on Monday, Sept. 28, against none other than the Minnesota Twins. It’s the first of a four-game set, and the Tigers’ Magic Number will be down to 2 when the game starts. (Among our other findings: The Tigers will win 6-4, Curtis Granderson will score the game-winning run, and it’s gonna be chilly, so wear a sweatshirt.)

Photo Credit: UMJenn